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  Bad Ass Bear Power Animals  

BaD aSS BeaR has been pawin’ on Bass 4 over a doZen years and 4 another doZen years has been doZin’ in a cozy cave.  When awake he played Bass in doZeNs of BEAR BANDS most notably “The CAVE BEARS” who wrote the popular BEER drinkin’ anthem known as
“The BEER Song”.

In his teen years he played accordion in a BEAR POLKA Band called “The POLKA BEARS”. Their main crowd pleaser was “ROLL out the BEER BARREL POLKA”.

Early on he played in the Cave Band “GoLDiLoCKs and the 3 Bears” which featured a Human Female Vocalist. The band had a short run when GoLDiLoCKs had a few too many BEERS
one night and wound up sleeping in the wrong BEAR Bed.

As a CUB he was raised by his Parents who were Popular Performing Circus BEARS.

A Veteran Perpetual Slacker his favorite activity is doing absolutely NOTHING.

When not doZin’ the BaD aSS BeaRs’ favorite snacks are: a doZen dunkin donuts along with a cool doZen BEERZ to wash down a dozen slices of piZZa after which he goes back
to SnooZiN’ for another doZen hourZ.

it’s in the contract.

A must have his favorite in between treats are YuMMY GuMMY BEARS.

The BaD aSS BeaR loves Mexican food and typically orders a dozen Nacho Chips with Salsa topped with Cheese and for the main course a doZen Extra Large Burritos only cuz a doZen tacos are just too small. He then of course washes it all down with a cool doZen bottles of CerveZazzzzzzz.

After which he likes to meditate and Do Zen.

Heavily overweight the BaD aSS BeaR gets easily agitated when commenting on his weight status.  And for the record the Bear Absolutely despises dietary talk of any sort.  In fact as noted above the Bear is on a special “DOZEN DIET” that requires food portions in doZeNs.

For exercise the BaD aSS BeaR enjoys playing video games on his Cave sized Projector screen which is also great for  watching sports.  His favorite Football team is the Chicago BEARS and his favorite baseball team is the Chicago CUBS.

Due to his time spent in isolation he does not play well with others.

No MooD

But, despite his collaborative and dietary difficulties he can drink a doZeN BEERS with ease, after which he gets a bad case of BEAR BREATH.  To keep awake he is on a heavy dose of stimulants like Extra Caffeinated Coffee with Chill Pills.
And of course he enjoys BUD Wiser Beer.

Currently a charter member of ANIMAL ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS the BaD aSS BeaR
has been on the road to recovery over a doZeN times.

Please Do NoT FEED the BEAR
Please Do NoT WAKE the BEAR
Please Do NoT GIVE the BEAR any  BEER

Sweet DreamsZZZZ


Dozen Donuts
Dozen Pizzas
Dozen Beers
Dozen Nachos
Dozen Burritos
Dozen Tacos
Dozen Yummy Gummy Bears


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